|Posted on September 3, 2018 at 4:00 AM|
In this week’s blog (10th of September – 16th of September) we will expand on the importance of becoming more mindful and disciplined, if we want to start breaking bad habits and create new more productive ones; we will invite you for our next Master Your Mind-platform session on the 20th of September and we will share some personal tips on how to become a creator of our future or stay victim of our automatic self. Every day we will upload a video link also on our Facebook.com/share2uplift page.
The importance of mastering your mind
A perspective based on the book Rewire, Change Your Brian, by Richard O’Connor
We are living in a period of unprecedented progress in the behavioral and social sciences. The progress has been primarily fueled by recent technological advances in neuroscience, specifically in brain imaging techniques such as fMRI, and by recent field-wide mandates in psychology for evidence based practices. One of the major trends in psychology and psychotherapy over the past decade has been the incorporation of cognitive and emotional training exercises such as mindfulness and meta (loving kindness and compassion) meditation. The afore mentioned imaging techniques have enabled investigators to observe the neurological changes that occur in ordinary people as well as experts, as they "exercise" their brains via meditation practices.
The big news is that we can literally change our brains by giving them a workout, and these "neuro-plastic" changes engender enhanced psychological and behavioral flexibility. The news is not so earth shaking if you think about it like this. The psychological skills that get worked, get strengthened. Just like lifting weights. If you practice present moment awareness and equanimity, than you become more able to maintain present moment awareness and equanimity in more challenging situations. The same goes for self/other compassion. Practice it and it gets stronger. The idea is that by exercising our brains, we can become freer to make decisions that are more inline with our values and long term interests rather than based on our short term impulsive cravings and aversions.
If you're a drug addict or if you're depressed than you need to go against the grain of your cravings and aversions in order to recover. Mindfulness and compassion meditation turn out to be of great therapeutic benefit for these serious clinical issues.
In the book Rewire, by Richard O’conner shares 3 great lessons. Check this link: Rewire Summary - Four Minute Books fourminutebooks.com/rewire-summary/ )
1. You have two selves that influence your actions – a conscious one and an automatic one;
2. Repressing your emotions can cause you to become self-destructive;
3. You can start breaking your bad habits by faking it and training mindfulness.
Do have a bad habit you want to kick? Here is what to do!
Lesson 1: You have two selves that influence your actions – a conscious one and an automatic one.
Which one is it going to be after work – gym or TV?
The moment I ask you that question you know which answer is the right one.
Yet, we’ve all faced this or similar decision countless times, but still ended up on the couch with a bag of chips.
Dr. O’Connor says it’s because we have two selves, a conscious one and an automatic one.The conscious self relies a lot on rational arguments, it’s when you reason yourself into doing things, for example going to the library early to get a good spot, because it’ll be crowded later on.
The automatic self is in charge when you eat your entire popcorn before the movie starts. Your conscious self isn’t there to think about the consequences and only when it reactivates again later do you regret your actions. We depend on automatic self for over 95 % - 99 % getting through the day. Whenever you perform a bad habit, your automatic self is running the show, after all you’d never choose to do a bad habit consciously. What to do about this?
The challenge basically that you need to overcome is:
1. The automatic self can't repair itself, because it can't really see where the trouble lies.
2. The conscious self has trouble seeing it because of defenses created to keep the trouble out of our awareness,
3. Even if we see it we lack the knowledge to change it.
We can develop greater control over our most self destructive patterns and feel like the conscious part of us is in charge of our lives.
There are two ways then, to break bad habits:
1. Strengthening your conscious self, so it becomes the dominant force.
2. Training your automatic self to just stop slipping up.
Both work, but in the long run, training your automatic self is a lot less effort. Via mindfulness it can help us to see the automatic self at work and detach our self of its control and train the brain to be calm and objective, because once the neural pathways have been established, they work on autopilot. But you can also learn to monitor your thoughts, feelings and behavior via a daily log and this will expand awareness and increase control. Just take a few minutes and give it your attention. See what patterns begin to emerge, look for the connections between your mood and feeling changes, external events and internal processes. Both external and internal can serve as triggers.
Lesson 2: Repressing your emotions can cause you to become self-destructive.
Have you ever wished to yell at someone at the top of your lungs, because they really pissed you off?
Chances are more often than not, when you wanted to, you didn’t.
Dr. O’Connor says you should have.
Emotions are chemical reactions in your body. They build up over time and eventually break, which is when we have to let them out.
Like water in an overflowing bathtub, they’ll find a way.
You not yelling when someone harasses you in the morning might lead you to eat a whole pie by yourself in the afternoon, just because you bottled up those feelings.
Emotions are never right or wrong, it’s not for you to judge, they’re feelings and therefore not even meant to be based on reason and common sense.
When you’re trying to rationally pick your feelings, you’ll create a communication gap between your conscious and your automatic self.
Your automatic self really tells you to yell at your co-worker for deleting all that data, but your rational you steps in and says you shouldn’t cause a scene in the office.
Eventually, this conflicting advice might lead you to engage in self-destructive behavior, like drinking way too much coffee, so listen to your gut.
Lesson 3: You can start breaking your bad habits by faking it and training mindfulness.
Rewiring your brain is never easy, but it’s easy to get started. Alcoholics Anonymous use the saying “Fake it till you make it” a lot, and it helps a lot of recovering addicts get started.
It focuses on being dedicated to getting better, and giving it your best, even when you end up caving and having a drink after a week or two.If you constantly beat yourself up every time you have another drink, you’ll keep sabotaging yourself, because you’re repressing those emotions, remember?
Instead, focus on continuing your efforts and “fake it” until you eventually make not drinking a habit – it’ll get easier to control yourself over time.
Just by sitting down for 30 minutes every day and focusing and re-focusing your attention on your breath, you can substantially increase your awareness for when you’re about to do a bad habit.
Don’t worry about being perfect, it’s normal to have other thoughts as you meditate. Gently push them aside and re-focus your attention.
That’s what meditation is all about, but, you know, fake it till you make it.
As the core group of Share2Uplift we would like to recommend this best practice to all whom want to gain mastery of more productive behaviors while breaking down bad habits.
The goal of the core group of Share2Uplift for 2018
As the Share2Uplift movement our goal for 2018 is to identify 250 ethical leaders (Influencers) to be empowered by 21st century mindsets and are connected and collaborate with one another to create value for the whole of the society.
As Share2Uplift we are fully trying to align with this thinking of Center for Curriculum Redesign to promote this agenda in our educational systems and workplace. So, in that sense we fully support any initiative to make our educational system 21st century proof.
Share2Uplift aligners are those that:
– Create an inspiring vision of the future;
– Motivate and inspire people to engage with that vision;
– Manage delivery of the vision;
– Coach and built a team, so that it is more effective at achieving the vision.
These criteria are now being polished.
We also consider these 5 values of the most important ones for Share2Uplift aligners. They are:
• Peace from within;
As we will progress towards this goal we will update you on the progress.
Visit the website for more information.
Next Master Your Mind-platform session on the 20th of September
We would like to invite you to our next session MYM-platform session on the 20th of September, at Biblioteka Nashonal.
From: 7 - 8.30 pm
We will be presenting the books Breaking rank, How to lead change when yesterday’s stories limit today’s choices, by Steven Countinho (presented by Ivan Kuster) and Enlightenment Now, the case for reason, humanism and progress, Steven Pink (presented by Michiel van de Veur). We will connect the content of these books with what we presented on Chit Chat Workshop, focused on how to create your own future. Bring along a friend and hope to welcome you on the 20th of September.
Personal coaching tips
This week we will share with you some personal tips as video links on how to be a creator of your own reality instead of being a victim of your automatic self. Every day we will upload a video link also on our Facebook.com/share2uplift page.
Mentally Plan Your Day to Reinvent Your Reality; Dr. Joe Dispenza, Present Mom
You Can Change - Dr. Joe Dispenza - YouTube
Dr Joe Dispenza: How to Control Your Emotions - YouTube
Evolve Your Brain 101 with Joe Dispenza, DC - YouTube
HOW DR JOE DISPENZA'S DAUGHTER MANIFESTED AN UNLIMITED SHOPPING SPREE! - YouTube
Joe Dispenza: The Balance Between Intention and Surrender [Web Excerpt] 2018 - YouTube