|Posted on November 10, 2019 at 5:10 AM|
In this week’s blog (11th – 17th of November) we will interview Yithza Davelaar. Furthermore, we will invite you to the repetition of our workshop in Papiamentu “Emoshon kiko e ta? Ki efekto e tin?” on the 16th of November; we will invite you to our next Master Your Mind platform session on the 19th of November; we will invite you for a “Meet and greet” event of the granddaughter of Nelson and Winnie Mandela, Mrs. Swati Mandela on the 22nd of November and we will share some motivational video links. Every day we will share one of these links on our Facebook page.
Influencer Yithza Davelaar: Passionately making a difference
Could you share with us some information of your family life?
I am a divorced mother of 2 children and I have 2 other sisters and my father is still alive. My father was very supportive after my mother passed away in what I am doing now. Before of the passing away of my mother I was searching, I have been searching over 20 years and I couldn’t figure out exactly in what direction I was going to give meaning and purpose to my life. Taking care of my mother brought me to becoming a Grief Recovery Expert. Basically every lost can cause grief in a person and there are over 43 losses that can cause grief (shades of grief). From my mother’s passing way, everything started to make more sense to me and made me who I am now and what I am doing now. I can treat all these 43 types of losses as it basically entails the same method to process the grief. A few years after my mother’s passing away I started to get involved in schools that is where I am at this moment.
This journey over 20 years made me try different things, like I got involved to study the things that didn’t excite me. I loved helping people and when I was young after finishing my VWO, I wanted to study ortho pedagogy, but my father advised me to study Law which I did, as this was suppose to open up a myriad of possibilities for me and I hated this study. And this affected my self cofidence during 20 years, as I thought that I was not able to study at this level and I felt demotivated. This proved to me how big the role of a person’s desire to succeed in something, is. My mother’s death was a turning point and defining moment, as three months after her passing away, as I was sitting at home and I was out of work. And I was convinced that I never wanted to start anything on my own again. I was going to find me a job and work from 9 to 5 and have me a fixed income. I talked to GOD 1,5 month after my mother got sick and I asked him what to do next, as I was planning to stay at home until he would tell me what to do next. All these years as I was searching for my purpose, this was done at the expense of my two children. My mother used to take care of them and now that she was gone, I was in a dead end. (After) three months after my mom passed away the answer came loud and clear. I was to: “Help others with their grief”. I started searching and googling until I found an on-line course that appeared to fit what I needed and this was in 2014. And now I am a Grief Recovery Specialist. And this is so statisfying to do, because you help others go through this process. The next step after they have overcome their grief is also importtant that is when they want to live again. That is when I became a John Maxwell Certified Coach and later also studied positive psychology and I am now a life coach based on positive psychology principles.
I used to read a lot, I would gobble books, like 2 to 3 books per week. A book of 300 pages I would read in two days. At first a lot of books in Dutch and later in English and then I read Sidney Sheldon and he really opened up a whole new world of books for me. I am now considering to go back to this habit as I am now discussing one book per month in a bookclub and I have to really prioritize my reading otherwise I would be reading a book over the week-end. Just a matter of focus and rid yourself of wasted time on my phone or something.
What book are you reading now?
I am now reading “Digital Minimalism” by Cal Newport. I go to the USA twice a year to attend a conference and by doing that I keep up with my knowledge and skills. This past year, I read all the relevant books of authors, professors publishing their latest research in “Positive Psychology” . Next year I am planning to read Joe Dispenza and Bruce Liption. I am studying Psychology online via the Open University and at times a little bit impatient about the tempo I have. With my children I am accepting that I am doing my utmost and accepting that this is perfect as it is, as I am totally in awe of what I am studying as I have found my passion. I now am greatfull for all the names of different parts of the brain that I had to study as I first started studying psychology. I had to know by heart all those names pre-frontal lobe, amygdala, pinael gland...etc....Now I know how important this was to do.
We have a foundation and it name is Islandessa Foundation (Island Dessa) and our slogan is: “Turn success into significance”. I believe that we are here in this world not to achieve our selfish goals, but to serve and be significant to the world. Our goal is the personal development of the people of Curaçao and more we are specifically focusing on the teachers of the island. Although the childeren are important we need to educate their educators( like their teachers), that is my believe. “Bitter teachers, create bitter children and a bitter society”. The reverse is also true, with regards to happy teachers.
I am so convinced that there is room now in these days for more attention to emotions. As I have been going to courses on “grief” I have become more aware of the fact, that we are being taught not to show emotions. What I have learned up to now, is what I want to share with the rest of the island. But then again the level of ignorance is high, so we have a long way to go still. For example some teachers I have given a course didn’t know the difference between a fixed and growth mindset. So there so much workl to do. If I would be a millionaire, I would invest all of it in this areas and so I am so convinced we would change the course of the island. I want to emphasize that I am not doing this work for the money, but because of my passion, mission and vision. And the way to do this through educatiuon our teachers.
The other day I was standing in a line to go to Live2lead a John Maxwell live stream at the Movies Otrobanda and I was asking someone whom do they consider an inspiring person and Influencer, they mentioned your name...and you were standing close to where we were standing? Does this come as a surprise to you that people consider you an inspiring person?
No I am not surprides anymore.
How long have you been working in this area ...personal development and as motivational speaker?
Because of a TV program that I used to have, from the beginning that I started working as a grief recovery specialist, I got a lot of friends via my social media. But also in my coaching I was always being myself and connecting with people, hugging people and showing empathy and compassion, which is unusual. It is my gift, I connect easily with people and I am now so sure that if people would stay long enough in my office, they would really transform. Someone told me a couple of days ago, Yithza you are a dangerous person, because your voice doesn’t leave my consciouness, it is always there.
You have spend some time dedicating lots of attention on grief, is there a specific reason for this? You have also started a book club on TV, is that stopped right now?
Simply because of the lack of money.
You are, as you explained to me, constantly reading, learning and teaching? You choose your reading priorities based on topics, like you have read all the important books on positive psychology and you are planning next year to read Dr. Joe Dispenza and Dr. Bruce Lipton. Where does this drive come from?
My mission and vision has been unfolding itself bits by bits in my life after years of searching. After I have passed through the grieving proces of the passing away of my mother, I became a grief recovery specialist and I want the whole of Curaçao to pass through this. It should be a subject matter at schools. But I also want life skills and personal development to be a subject matter at schools. I was a keynote speaker of the conference of RKCS at the beginning of the new schoolyear in 2018/2019, where I addressed this issue. I went to Dallas that year for a conference as I attend conferences in the USA twice a year, every year.
I went to this conference in Dallas as Martin Seligmnan was the keynote speaker, he is the founding father of positive psychology. I had no other details of the conference. As I sat at a table it became clear to me, that I was sitting in a conference, where teachers from all levels from Kindergarten up to Professors where attending and addressing the sky rockting levels of depression among youth worldwide. And how can we addressed this, through positive psychology interventions. So I want also that groups of teachers of the whole island, learn these interventions and so enable happier youth in the future. I am being driven in this direction, as it is not really my choice. I sort of feel that I have to do this.
You are planning to bring in next year Dr. Shefaly in March, what topic is she going to present?
Dr. Shefaly is an expert in parenting and education. And this is relevant against the background of the rising levels of depression among our youth. A study done (Lauri Santos) among Yale students concluded, that because of the increasing pressures and workloads, over 60 % of their students are depressed. I would love to let people re-discover their authenticity in Curaçao and teach them also how to have enough courage to maintain it. Over the exact subject matter of Dr. SDhefaly, we still have to reach consent, but she will be here in March 2020.
You are a great fan of Dharius Daniels, why is that? I have seen a YouTube sermon of him and his appearance is not the mainstream appearance of a pastor.
Yes, I am a great fan of him. I am a devoted Christian, which is something of the last years. My daughter Ilana is the reason that I am a Christian. I like his smartness, he is very eloquent with his words and his stories are all based on biblical principles. I am fascinated by how he uses events in our daily lives and relates them to bibilcal principles, which makes the Bible so WOW for me now.
How did you became a Christian?
When I was pregant of Ilana, I didn’t want that, so we decided to have an abortion. We made an appointment at a clinique in The Hague as we were staying in Rotterdam during that time. We were on our way to the Hague as we reached a around about, I started crying incessantly and it was not me but through me. Something inisde me said that I shoudn’t have the abortion, so I decided to cancel our plans and the father of Ilana who was driving, turned to go back to Rotterdam. As we were getting back to Rotterdam the crying stopped. One week later at 5 am in the morning I woke up as a voice inside me yelled “Ilana”. In the morning I told her father this.
But by that time I wasn’t a Christian. When Ilana was 3 years old at 3 am in the morning she started to cry incessantly. This was going on day in day out, taking lots of energy out of me. So a friend suggested to talk with a pastor from Santo Domingo who was very good at this and this pastor prayed with and for Ilana and that same night, although I found this a little weird, Ilana slept through the whole night and this stayed like that for some time. And then it started again.
This time she cried harder and ugly. Slapping her hands on her bed and as I looked at her in her eyes I didn’t see my daughter in those eyes. It was scary. So when I gave her something to drink, the way she held her cup was not that of a child. I decided to go to the church: “U-turn to (a) new life”. One of the pastors suggested this when Ilana woke up in the night, whether I believed it or not, to just say: “In the name of Jesus Christ, I am covered by the blood of GOD” and Ilana reacted like she didn’t want to hear Jesus Christ’s name and I knew I had power then. This fight went on for months and after that she began sleeping normally again. This is why I am now a devoted Christian and a believer, as I also know that she is a very special child.
Where would you want to be, let us say 10 or 15 years from now? And what would success look like for you?
I am really fascinated by “grief” and this can cause people to get and stay stuck. Success is determined, based on reaserch, by how fast we can enable people to get unstuck and what can be done. I firmly believe that we are build to process our grief.
What is your BIG WHY or driving motivation to be whom you are right now?
I don’t know yet, but I am getting more and more signs of the Universe so I now just go with the flow and I stopped saying...yes, but....
What are the challenges that you are dealing with? And how are you dealing with these different challenges you confront?
Money of course and also the ignorance of people that really have the ability to help me with sponsorship and things like that.
Do you use your inner voice to evaluate when dilemma’s show up? How does that work for you?
I don’t use it completely yet, I do feel things and would say this is the next phase in my development. I have been a very rational person up to now and I feel that the time has come to dedicate attention to my right brain. Robin Sharma’s “Concept of the 5 am club”, really resonates with me as we are Mind, Body, Emotions and Spirit. So it was a Big Epiphany for me to become aware, that I was only using 25 % of my abilities. This insight came at the right moment as I felt some months ago that I was overloaded and couldn’t sleep well. For example as I like reading, I was reading a book of Elisabeth Gilbert “City of girls” and I was, as I was reading this book, asking myself now where the lesson to be learned, when do it get the lesson out of this book, ....while it was just a story...and other people also made comments on this making me aware that I wasn’t able to just chill anymore. Everything I did, needed to teach me something, watching TV I watched only the documentarties etc....so now is the time to start with the other sides of my abilities.
What are your strengths?
My ability to transform people.
Do you have hobbies or interests that you are also passionate about?
If you as Yithza would meet a stranger in the bus (let say in Holland or the US) and they would ask you to introduce yourself what would you answer?
I am a grief recovery specialist and postive psychology coach.
How would you describe Yithza in one word or one sentence?
Whom are the persons that have inspired you the most in your career?
Not necessary the person that most inspired me, but I would rephrase this by saying the person that transformed me was Paul Martenelli. He changed my paradigm on how to look at life. After listening to one of his presentation in 2015. After that, I stopped wasting my valuable time on TV, radio, I stopped reading things that I basically didn’t want to read. I started living more purposefully.
What is a trait that you want to work on and improve?
Patience, and trust the process, trusting the journey.
What was a defining moment in your life?
The time before and after my mother died.
What would you want your Loved Ones, family, friends and others to say about you let’s say 20 years from now celebrating your brithday?
She made a difference.
What makes you stay optimistic about the future of Curaçao?
Everything is possible..
For more info on Yithza Davelaar's work:
Yithza Davelaar is an inspirational speaker, Grief Relief Specialist, positive psychology coach, and a devoted Christian and a representative of the Educational sector. After going through a grief proces after the passing away of her mother, her calling became clear to her “Help others with their grief”. But after helping clients to process their grief, her clients wanted to “live again to the fullest”, so she also specialized in positive psychology. Her desire to live her passion, her insatiable thirst to learn more about her passion and her curiosity has turned her within short into a reputable public speaker and Influencer especially in the educational sector. With her focus on education and based on her strength to transform people, we will definitely hear more about her. We deeply respect and love her and consider Yithza to be one of the 250 Influencers of Curaçao, representing the educational sector.
The goal of the core group of Share2Uplift for 2020
As the Share2Uplift movement our goal for 2018 has been to identify 250 ethical leaders (Influencers) to be empowered by 21st century mindsets connected, aligned and collaborate with one another to create impact in all walks of life. This in first instance via the enabling of opportunities to connect as Influencers with one another and secondly by actively promoting “best practice” problem resolution approaches like dialogue to solve the challenges our community has to deal with. Now we want to reach our target of 250 Influencers by the end of 2020. Look at the list of the Influencers we have interviewed or reported on, up to now.
As Share2Uplift we are fully trying to align with this thinking of Center for Curriculum Redesign to promote this agenda in our educational systems and workplace. So, in that sense we fully support any initiative to make our educational system 21st century proof.
Share2Uplift aligners are those that:
– Create an inspiring vision of the future;
– Motivate and inspire people to engage with that vision;
– Manage delivery of the vision;
– Coach and built a team, so that it is more effective at achieving the vision.
These criteria are now being polished.
We also consider these 5 values of the most important ones for Share2Uplift aligners. They are:
• Peace from within;
• Responsibility. As we will progress towards this goal we will update you on the progress.
Visit the website for more information.
Workshop Emoshon: Kiko e ta? Ki efekto e tin?
On the 16th of October we will be repeating the workshop “Emoshon kiko e ta? Ki efekto e tin?”Do you want to know more on the mysteries of mastery over “Emotions”?
Then, we would like to invite you to attend the workshop: “Emoshon: Kiko e ta? Ki efekto e tin?”
Place: Avila Beach Hotel
Time: 8 am - 12 pm.
Entrance fee: Ang 125,-
Presenters: Haydee Hermans, Soul Garden | O’dennis Daal, Master Your Mind | Ivan Kuster, Uplifting BV.
Find out more.
Our next MYM-platform session in November
We would like to invite you for our next session on the 19th of November and we will be presenting again two very interesting books.
Gary Zukav’s "The seat of the soul" and “Scale, the universal laws of life, growth and death in Organizations”, by Geoffrey West.
This as part of our effort to keep combining personal developments books with books that give us a macro view of the world and its developments.
In the book “The Seat of the Soul” by bestselling Gary Zukav, to be presented by Ivan Kuster is the 25th anniversary edition. It contains a new Foreword by the author, website links, and a new Study Guide to help readers find even deeper meaning and fulfillment. The Seat of the Soul encourages you become the authority in your own life. It will change the way you see the world, interact with other people, and understand your own actions and motivations. Beginning with evolution, Gary Zukav explains how we are evolving into a species that understands power as the alignment of the personality with the soul--authentic power. Our evolution requires each of us to make the values of the soul our own: harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for Life. Zukav shows us how to participate fully in this evolution, enlivening our everyday activities and all of our relationships with meaning and purpose.
“Scale, the universal laws of life, growth and death in Organizations”, by Geoffrey West will be presented by Michiel van der Veur.
From one of the most influential scientists of our time, a dazzling exploration of the hidden laws that govern the life cycle of everything from plants and animals to the cities we live in. Visionary physicist Geoffrey West is a pioneer in the field of complexity science, the science of emergent systems and networks. The term “complexity” can be misleading, however, because what makes West’s discoveries so beautiful is that he has found an underlying simplicity that unites the seemingly complex and diverse phenomena of living systems, including our bodies, our cities and our businesses.
West’s work has been game-changing for biologists, but then he made the even bolder move of exploring his work’s applicability. Cities, too, are constellations of networks and laws of scalability relate with eerie precision to them. The implications of these discoveries are far-reaching, and are just beginning to be explored. Through the brilliant mind of Geoffrey West, we can envision how cities, companies and biological life alike are dancing to the same simple, powerful tune.
Date: Tuesday (3rd of the month) 19th of November
Place: Chit Chat Cafe Mensing’s Caminada
Time: 7 - 9 pm.
Entrance fee: Free
Click to attend!
Meet & Greet
On the 22nd of November from 5 - 6 pm at Mensing Caminada, Global Enterprise Week, Soul Garden, Uplifting and Mensing Caminada will host a "Meet and Greet” event with Swati Mandela, the granddaughter of Nelson and Wini Mandela.
Come and see what Swati has to share about these two books about their grandparents time in prison:
"The prison letters of Nelson Mandela" and "491 days" of Winnie Mandela’s.
We will host this “Meet and greet”-event and you will have the unique opportunity to have a Q & A with Swati and she will be signing these books of the about Mandela’s. So save the day and hope to greet you then.
The importance of Education
Everyday we will share one of these video links on our Facebook.com/share2uplift page.
Why is education important? - YouTube
Every kid needs a champion | Rita Pierson - YouTube
All about Learning. Why is education important? - YouTube
Importance of Education Video - YouTube
What's Education For? - YouTube
5 Reasons Why Finland Is A Global Education Leader - YouTube